MiSTed: "Rent"

...continued from Part Nine..

TOM: Hey, what's this?

MIKE: (nervously) Uh...uh...

CROW: Why are they all under the sheet?

TOM: Yeah, what's going on?

MIKE: (nervously) Uh...because...because they're playing Scrabble.

CROW: What?

MIKE: Yeah! Yeah, they're playing Scrabble. You see, all those words they're saying..are...are...Scrabble words. You know the words...on the Scrabble board.

TOM: But, Mike, that makes no sense. They keep repeating the same words over and over again. Something like--

MIKE: Well, uh...you see, it's a special kind of Scrabble! Um...Repetitive Scrabble. Yeah, where the object of the game is to uh...you know...spell the same word as often as you can.

CROW: But there aren't that many letters in the game, Mike. I've played it. They've got to be doing something else.

MIKE: Well...uh...you see, um...Repetitive Scrabble comes with, like...sixty alphabets, you know. So you can...uh...spell more words...or more of the same word...uh...one way.

TOM: Repetitive Scrabble? I've never heard of it!

MIKE: Well, it's...uh...very...very...uh, popular here. Uh...among artists, as a matter of fact. You, heh, heh, know how much they like repetition.

CROW: I suppose...

MIKE: Yeah. Yeah, that's all it is.

Angel: Take me, take me

TOM: Whoa, what's happening to him?

MIKE: Triple word score.

All: It was bad for me - was it bad for you?

Joanne: It's over

Maureen: It's over

Roger: It's over

Mimi: It's over

Collins: It's over

TOM: Hey, Mike, you were right. Now the game's over.

CROW: Yeah. Repetitive Scrabble, huh? What a cool game.

MIKE: Yeah. (sighs)

(Tom and Crow exchange looks, and stifle their laughter.)

Angel: Take me, take me

TOM: Whoa, what's happening to him?

MIKE: Triple word score.

Collins: Live in my house. I'll be your shelter. Just pay me back. With one thousand kisses.

CROW: Who's he singing that to? Where's Angel?

TOM: Yeah, why's he singing that again? I thought they had an "arrangement" -- that whole renting love bit.

MIKE: Guys, I hate to tell you this, but... (whispers in their ears what has happened.)

TOM & CROW: WHAT????

TOM: What do you mean Angel died?

CROW: (getting upset) But, but wait...he was just here...I saw him...he was playing Repetitive Scrabble!

TOM: Maybe he lost.

CROW: Ugh! Remind me never to play *that* game, then!

Company: Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

MIKE: Again with the numbers?

CROW: Yeah, you know somebody just *died*, I don't think we need to listen to your silly little units of measurement at a time like this!

Company: Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. Five hundred twenty-five thousand seasons of love

TOM & CROW: Wait!

TOM: You go first.

CROW: What if that's what the numbers mean? They're talking about measuring a year, right? Maybe they're trying to say not to measure a year in these minutes, but in all these other things, like the love that's in your life.

TOM: Oh. I was just going to say that 525,600 *does* add up to 9.

Mark: Hi, it's Mark Cohen. Is Alexi there?

CROW: Yeah, we want to hear from Alexi! She's cool!

How did we get here?

TOM: Uh-oh.

MIKE: I'm sensing Philosophy and Reflection.

TOM: I hate songs that make you think. They're just too deep for me.

How the hell... Pan left - close on the steeple of the church

MIKE: You know what? I'm not even going to ask.

How did I get here?

CROW: We don't *know*, so *stop asking us*!!!! Geez, artists and their repetition!

How could a night so frozen be so scalding hot? How can a morning this mild be so raw?

TOM: (sings) How do you solve a problem like Maria?

CROW: (sings) How will I know if he really loves me?

MIKE: (sings) How do you know what you want til you get it and see if you like it?

(Tom and Crow look at him, puzzled.)

MIKE: Stephen Sondheim.

TOM & CROW: Ah.

MIKE: You know...he gave money...for this show...and...forget it.

TOM & CROW: Uh huh. (stifle their laughter.)

Why are entire years strewn on the cutting room floor of memory, when single frames of one magic night forever flicker in close-up on the 3D IMAX of my mind?

MIKE: That's poetic.

TOM: That's pathetic.

That's poetic. That's pathetic.

MIKE & TOM: Hey!

Why did Mimi knock on Roger's door and Collins choose that phone booth back where Angel set up his drums? Why did Maureen's equipment break down?

MIKE: Why ask why?

Mimi: It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?

CROW: Whoa!

TOM: The day you thought would never come is here!

CROW: Now, what's going to keep him warm at night?

MIKE: Somehow, I get the feeling she isn't going to listen to him.

CROW: Somehow, I get the feeling she could beat him up!

Joanne: Didn't give an inch when I gave a mile

MIKE: Cliche count?

TOM: I've lost track.

Mimi & Joanne: I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had.

CROW: Ugh! Don't say that or you could be next to lose a game of Repetitive Scrabble!

TOM: Or dress in women's clothing.

CROW: That too.

Roger: All your words are nice Mimi, but love's not a three way street.

ALL: Huh???

MIKE: I've driven on a three way street once. Yeah, it was real late...I'd had a couple of beers...

CROW: Quid erum demonstratum.

MIKE: What?

CROW: Something I picked up from alt.tv.x-files.creative.

MIKE: Does this mean I have to shut down your *computer* too?

You'll never share real love until you love yourself - I should know

(All stifle laughter.)

Collins: You all said you'd be cool today.

TOM: Why? They're not cool any other day of the year, why should today be any different?

All: I can't believe this is goodbye.

CROW: Is the show ending?

MIKE: Uh...I don't think so.

CROW: Well, then, is today opposite day?

MIKE: No.

CROW: (to Tom) How do I know if he really just answered me, or if he just answered me opposite-ly?

TOM: Beats me.

Mark: I hear there are great restaurants out west.

TOM: Again with the food!

MIKE: Yeah. Makes me wish I had bought some of those $7 candy bars to take back to Deep 13. I'll have to stop and get some on the way out. I mean, *where* can you get deals like that?

Roger: You just don't know...How could we lose Angel

CROW: Well, don't play Repetitive Scrabble the next time -- duhhhh!!!

Roger: Mimi's got her baggage too

Mark: So do you

TOM: Oh, they *did* end up getting matching baggage. How cute! I think I'm going to be sick.

CROW: Eh, it's a couple thing. Always got to do *everything* together, I mean one person has baggage, the other person has to have baggage. One person has AIDS, the other person has to have AIDS. Got to *always* be together! Sheesh!

Roger: But who, Mark, are you?

TOM: Did he forget already?

CROW: I'm telling you, that apartment's a health hazzard!

"Mark has got his work". They say "Mark lives for his work" and "Mark's in love with his work". Mark hides in his work

MIKE: Who's "they"?

CROW: The government.

MIKE: Oh, of course.

Mark: Mimi still loves Roger. Is Roger really jealous or afraid that Mimi's weak?

TOM: Oh no. This guy better not start talking about himself in the third person, like that guy from "Seinfeld".

CROW (Jimmy): Jimmy hates this show. Jimmy thinks this show sucks.

Roger: I'll call. I hate the fall.

MIKE: (sings) I just called to say I love you...

CROW: Let me count the ways.

TOM: 525,599...525,600.

Mimi: You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees.

CROW: Well, can you blame him? I mean, if your suitcase falls apart, who's supposed to pay for it?

Mimi: Goodbye love Roger: Glory

MIKE: Oh, this two-people-singing-at-the-same-time thing again. You know, it's been so long since we had one of these, I'd almost forgotten how much I hate them.

Mark: I know a place - a clinic

TOM (Benny): Yeah. Complete with a Twelve Step program on how to stop wearing vinyl outfits.